Is There Anybody Out There?


Sorry for the bold headline but if you don’t open these emails, Mailchimp will eventually delete you from my list and you won’t get them at all. Also, they are good. I pour my little soul into them each week and I believe that they make a difference. Thank you so much if you are a regular opener. I love you!!

I have found it tough this week? How about you?

I’ve lacked energy and been quite emotional at times. I cried in the car this morning at a version of World In Union playing on the radio. I looked a right state sitting at the traffic lights on the Bristol Road. I haven’t even been that motivated for my run.

And, do you know what? I haven’t really fought it. I’ve given myself permission to be down and tired. I kicked off about the fact that no-one cooks in the week but me and I had a real rant at Keri that no-one here really appreciates that I work very hard to make a difference in everything I do. I felt very unappreciated and unheard. In fairness to him, we have arranged time tomorrow evening to sort out a song playlist and have a proper chat. Good job he’s a keeper I guess! And, he does have a very poorly back which is completely getting him down.

What do you do when you feel like the unpaid help?

I always have a rant. I am a believer in a good old rant just as I believe in a good old cry. Ranting is a short term solution – well, it makes my girls load the dishwasher at least for that day! Ranting releases stress. I also recommend standing in the garden or an empty room and having a good shout. Singing works well too. Anything that goes rid of pent up emotion.

Ranting is cathartic but it doesn’t really get to the bottom of the issue. I’m ok for a while and then I get fed up again in a few weeks. Talking is much better. It’s brave but also beautiful when you communicate how you feel. Try not to do it when you are in a ranty mood as it doesn’t come across well – I know from experience. Practice what you want to say and speak with kindness. Keri is having a tough time with his back at the moment so he needs a sympathetic ear too. Luckily, I’ve calmed down a bit! I’m sure no-one intended to make you feel this way.

Love yourself. You are amazing and you don’t need someone else telling you this. Know it yourself. Yes, it’s lovely when someone says thank you or drops you a kind note but we are all busy and people simply forget. I often intend to message people and then life gets in the way. Be confident in who you are and in what you do – not because you want thanks for it every time – but because they give shape and expression to who you are. If you cannot think of any – you need to do start finding them pretty sharpish. Don’t lose sight of yourself.

Get help when you can. Can you get a cleaner? Can you order take-out once a week? Does everything need ironing? Can your partner do bath time more often? it is ok to delegate and look after yourself. They might not do it as well as you but it means you are not doing it for once.  Do you need a coach? Do you need to seek out a therapist? I’ve seen both and they made a massive difference.

Breathe and smile. They’re not that bad really.

Go back to acceptance. Remember last week’s note? Once you accept that some things have to get done and you are the one to do them, you might not feel so annoyed about not being thanked. Cooking tea whilst singing very loudly is fun! Often, people simply forget. Look at it objectively, do you remember to always say thank you?

I know that you are not unappreciated – you do too when you really think about it. Your family would be stumbling around if it weren’t for you – think of the chaos that would ensue. They love you very much. Perhaps a gentle nudge to remind them they need to value you wouldn’t go amiss. Try to do it with a smile!