- Join a Circle
Are you ok?
I have had a tricky week this week. If you caught my book reading on Tuesday, you will have seen that I cried so much that I had to cut my 'motivational chat' short. It was a very weird experience for me. I am an emotional soul but those tears took me by surprise.
Then I listened as many mums shared their feelings of overwhelm and resentment at the new tier restrictions. One of my beset running buddies explained that she felt really low and was having all kinds of imposter syndrome issues at work. The girls have been very up and down and poor old Keri is still struggling with his ruptured disc. Life is a funny old thing and it really isn't easy is it?
I don't think it is supposed to be easy. That's probably not the message you'd like but it's true. I'm all into the 'What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger' vibe but I do wish the challenges would give you time to come up for air between each one!
What we all need is a crash course in how to make ourselves feel special. It's not that our families mean to take us for granted but we are good at getting on with things with very little fuss and are often overlooked. I know I've shared with you before that I plod on for weeks and then explode into a huge rant about how I am not running a hotel and when was the last time anyone else saw this magic washing and ironing fairy who transfers things from washing basket (or bedroom floor!) back into drawers. I have never seen her!
Start with asking for love and thanks. A little bit of gratitude goes a long way. Keri is very good at reminding the girls that I've worked all day and still made tea, been shopping, sorting their admin and made sure that everything they need for school is ready for them. Being acknowledged and recognised makes you feel so much better about yourself and it definitely makes me feel less resentful.
It means that I feel noticed. I don't want thanks all the time but I do want it sometimes. I deserve it because I spend many hours each week rushing about like a blue arsed fly making sure that everyone else has what they need. It's often my stuff I forget.
It is ok for you to ask for recognition too. Recognition is appreciation. I want to be appreciated. I want you to be appreciated too. Appreciation is a basic need that stops you going completely off the deep end when your family continue to walk past the pile of their stuff on the stairs that has been there all week!
I'm going to call you out a little bit as well. It is not selfish or self-centred to want to be noticed so please have a kind word with yourself if it makes you feel uncomfortable that this is what you need. To want and need appreciation is a primal human longing. It's what makes you the amazing human you are. Ask to be seen and heard.
On a bigger level, we live in a society where mothers are not appreciated enough. We are still taught that we're not supposed to want or need anything for ourselves and that we should sacrifice our 'me' for the family 'us'. That is bonkers. When our need to be thanked and noticed is met, doing the day to day 'stuff' doesn't seem so hard and we feel better about ourselves. The odd 'thank you' from Grace or Neave makes me know that doing what I do is done from a place of love - not of duty and that's a much better way to feel.
Also appreciate yourself. Take some time today to pause and consciously recognise how much you do. Remind yourself that you are a great mum and that being you is enough. Truly recognise how much your family needs you and the difference you make. Mothers change the world. We nurture the future. You are making a positive difference every day. That deserves to be recognised.
Christmas can be a tricky time. Tempers fray and arguments can happen from the smallest of things. In my experience, it's often feelings of being taken for granted that cause them. Don't let that spoil this time. It's been such an awful year. Make sure that you feel noticed - and that you notice your family too - a loving flow of appreciation makes for a much happier time.
Timetable for this week:
Tuesday: Book Circle in The Circle on Facebook at 2pm.
Thursday: Book Circle in The Circle on Facebook at 2pm.
Friday 10am: Wellbeing Facebook Live on the main page.
I am not going to hold a cup of tea this week but how about a virtual Christmas party the week after?
Let me know what you think. A fabulous opportunity to bring our Christmas outfits for you and your baby!
As Seen In...
What our mums say...
I feel empowered as a pregnant woman and as a future mum
I signed up to the class to get to meet local expectant mums with the side benefit of a nice stretch. I did meet some lovely local mums and found it so helpful to have a space where you could talk about any issues and get advice or support. What really surprised me was how much I valued the yoga and stretching but mostly the breathing exercises. It gave me a toolkit of things to do during pregnancy and also in Labour and has made me feel excited for the birth! Mandy’s affirmations during the rest time have really spoken to me and made me feel empowered as a pregnant woman and as a future mum.
The class was so beneficial to me, to have a space just for me to enjoy my pregnancy and learn about the things I can do in birth to help it be a positive event. Thank you!
Mandy really encourages everyone
I first attended Mandy’s pregnancy yoga classes when I was pregnant with my first baby, the yoga helped hugely with my pregnancy aches and pains but most of all the support and encouragement from both Mandy and the rest of the group was amazing. Mandy really encourages everyone to engage with each other which wasn’t something that I had experienced in other groups I attended, it meant that I felt safe in asking that daft question or verbalising my fears! I then went on to attend baby massage and postnatal yoga with my first baby and again the support and ability to engage with other new moms was fantastic! I have recently had my second baby and attended pregnancy yoga, whilst I had less concerns and worries about pregnancy and birth the classes gave me a dedicated hour to have just for me...which was so important and you don’t get much time to yourself when you are running around after a toddler! I am now attending postnatal yoga and although this is having to be done via zoom Mandy has continued to provide a safe environment and an opportunity to engage with other Moms! Thank you Mandy you help me keep my sanity!
Mandy is such a positive influence
I went to Mandy's pregnancy yoga class for a block of 8 lessons. I enjoyed it so much that I kept going for another two blocks. You may think you're going for yoga, but it's so much more. Mandy is such a positive influence on how you feel about your pregnancy, birth and parenting. I gained friends, lost any fear of giving birth and am looking forward to joining one of her baby classes with my newborn.
Absolutely love her classes
I returned to Mandy's pregnancy yoga classes following my second pregnancy as I absolutely loved her classes first time round and made some solid friendships.
Mandy creates such a welcoming and safe environment. She is passionate about ensuring mums and mums to be have a support network alongside the yoga which is so vital. Her classes provide opportunities for open discussion around pregnancy/childbirth/motherhood and no question is out of bounds!
Following the birth of my daughter, I went on to attend baby massage and baby yoga classes, both of which I can thoroughly recommend. Baby massage has given me some really helpful techniques to manage baby's trapped wind and has also helped me deepen the bond with my little ones. Baby yoga was surprisingly more relaxing than I expected! I have made some amazing friendships that have continued post classes. I would definitely recommend Mandy's classes. She is so honest and puts her heart and soul into her classes.
I did want to say thank you. Your classes are fantastic - you explain everything so clearly and know which achy bits to work on. It has made me think that I should find a ‘normal’ (ie not postnatal) yoga class post-lockdown, but finding the time will be a big challenge! I also think that what you do for mums is great and I hope that you will be able to start your classes in person again soon. If I come across any mums to be or new mums I will certainly recommend you, although Arlo was a late (and very happy) addition to our family and most of the mums I know have kids at school now. That’s been another positive for me actually - being able to connect with people going through the baby/pregnancy stage as otherwise it would have been very easy to neglect that side of my life with the demands of having other young children. One of the unforeseen bonuses of Mandy's classes was that my baby always slept for three hours afterwards!
Mandy understands that babies have their own minds...
Mandy was extremely friendly and made me feel at ease so quickly. Which was fantastic as I was nervous being the youngest mum in the room. It was good to introduce everybody and nice for Mandy to explain she understands babies have their own minds so if we wanted to we could feed or change nappies just simply watch.
And she really meant it.
Having tea and cake at the end of each session made you stay and engage with the mums. I loved how Mandy explained all the benefits of the different massages e.g. winds/sinuses Oh and one final thing I loved the goody bag! Couldn’t rate the class highly enough.
SO glad I'd found Mandy and her classes
I had previously been to a few different yoga classes and found them a bit intense and not what I was looking for. I heard about Mandy's prenatal yoga classes through a friend and it sounded just what I was looking for. From the first session I was SO glad I'd found Mandy and her classes. They are way more than a yoga class - meditation, breathing exercises, relaxation and a chance to chat to other expectant mums and soak in Mandy's wisdom. The jammie dodgers are a welcome bonus to the class too! Since lockdown the classes were via zoom and this worked really well and I still had the same sense of connection and relaxation I got from the in person class. Between classes I also did Mandy's yoga sessions on her website which really helped me stay relaxed and helped my aches and pains. I also made sure I regularly listened to her audio relaxations which helped me stay calm and grounded in those final weeks. Above all of this, Mandy has been a wonderful support and checked in with me after the birth of my daughter and during our hospital stay - Mandy really does go above and beyond and puts out some brilliant online content. I can't thank her enough!
Every class provides a relaxed and friendly environment
I first attended baby massage classes when my son was 3 months old, and then went on to do mum and baby yoga, and I’m on my 4th block of classes now (my son is now 9 months old!) Every class provides a relaxed and friendly environment, great yoga for post pregnancy, focussing on pelvic floor exercises and breathing, and a general feel good hour where you can forget about the outside world. The cake and tea are a bonus at the end of the classes and I have met some really lovely moms through attending. Mandy has a special gift at teaching and she never fails to create a relaxed environment for the babies, who all seem fixated by her presence. I am so glad I found her classes as Wednesdays are my favourite days of the week! Cannot recommend enough.